faltering steps?

my mind and heart are in forks...

just when i hand in my resignation letter, my heart feels like tieing itself down.

my kids and their pleading face... (din realize i've made a way into the lil kids heart (ok some), and imagine the seeds that i could have sown if i'd stay. it's like falling in love with someone you din plan to live with. workwise. *ahem*)
my assitant principal's word of affirmations...

were like a sudden effusion of "light". just discovered i had lived in a distorted version of the story...

but i've made a decision...

i can't turn back, else i be walking on faltering steps...

will find a project or further my studies locally first... that's what i've always wanted to do, just that i hanged my hope too high about going overseas to study... chances are that doorway may be closed, and i've to make some ground plans too.

the only set back is that the course of my interest is rarely offered here, so am praying for subsidairy titles of my interest or or something related...

knowing me, i get sucked into the things i like, while i almost score the lowest for the subjects i dislike... research (my line) here is mostly about cancer or disease (which is kinda depressing for me), maybe coz there's where the funding goes..

so yes, pray for a good professor, good title or that God will change my heart to see that the world's not so perfect, and that i'll have to make do with that "as good as it gets"...?

oh God, what's the real story ?

one chapter

so there, one chapter of my life closed today !

"at least u dun have to deal with the sense of gaucheness anymore !"- Rach
thanks for painting it in such a great perspective !

say hello to holidays !!!

gonna really miss the kids though :(

can't slug a girl

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"why be equal when u can be superior ?" answer to feminism ;p **
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* taken without permission fr snoops

**A. jo's adage !

pause

stop running girl, where u going ?

life sees me hastily flipping thru its' pages that i forgot to listen to my heart... drilling holes at work, or burying myself with my studies... until my heart started protesting for a halt.

So i paused, and...

i realized that my present job and i fit rather incongruently. Although in daylight i'm pretty much on the go...but as the noir creeps over, my heart feels overwhelmed : the inaptness and noise... probably my high scores for introvertness and low scores for class-control jst doesn't suit this scene...

ish... i feel like a wimp... :/

kinda take pride in finding the alternatives to solving things, and now my creative ways to control class jst don't seemed to work. maybe i'm trying too hard...

also, it din hit on me until someone pointed out that my current subject of study has been like a thin string which i hanged my hopes on... i'm clinching too tight to it...

So i'm taking a short interlude...

to listen to the voice of my heart... and ask myself "is this what i really want in life?"

i guess all the while i've been pre-occupied with studying, and more study to go... suddenly life throws itself at me and say choose where u want to go...

the azure horizon and answers to search for... at least i discover something here :)