4 days of giving the house to me ( and bro) and this is what happened :
1. two piles of half dried clothes all being aired up in the hall. ( well, it's been raining since, and the clothes won't dry up. Think i might try putting them in the oven )
2. A mother cat giving birth to kittens below my shoe rack outside... and i duno how to get rid of em'...
oh dear oh dear... the last time i was home alone, i cultured fungus fr left-overs in the fridge and unwashed cups...
Guess i'm so used to ppl tidying up after me... plus being the youngest, it's easy to get away with the mess...i can just leave my cup on my study table, and next thing you know it walked back to the kitchen...but now, it just doesn't do that trick anymore. :( pity my bro, comes back late fr work and has to straighten up the house. Well, thank God i've one day to clean up right after my last paper b4 my parents return (screaming).
2 more papers to go...
sigh*... i wonder whether it's just me or ? when it comes to final year my motivation to study has decline... arrived on time for me to walk in the exam hall without having to line up...the only setback is that there's no parking space left and i'll have to walk really far...not study on weekends...watch the nanny marathon on Sunday...drive on the slowest lane so i don't have to reach so early...chat or stare blank to space rather than look thru my notes b4 entering...
oh wait... i think it's just me. The last finals i forgot to collect my exam slip...yeah, guess it's me...
Meanwhile i'm still unsure whether my uni's cutting short our holidays or...our last mid sem holiday was altered with just a wave on the wand... in just one week's notice, "eh? holidays change adi"
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Thursday, November 17, 2005
if only...
I wish... :)
meanwhile, my life cycle goes rocking between " sleep, study, sleep, sleep..."
Pretty much entertained at how my university admin tried so hard to console themselves over consolation prize by flagging the whole campus with "UM ternobat" banners... i better go snap some shots before the education ministry decides to remove it.
not the least, The Nanny and Peanuts have really helped kick in some fun for me...
Well, my parents are dumping me home alone (bro's hardly around now that he's working) to go for a vacation... not fair... they've always took me along... now i'll have to wait till i start earning my own money to travel... boo...hoo...
be attending one of my cousin's wedding at the end of Nov. That reminds me to top up my wardrobe right after my last paper... have not feed it since last semester's holiday... Be looking forward for the 25th where my cousins, aunts and granny will be flying down for the wedding...
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Nothing
I'm so excited because I'm gonna go to the High School of Performing Arts!
I mean, I was dying to be a serious actress. Anyway, it's the first day acting class- and we're in the auditorium and the teacher, Mr. Karp... Oh, Mr. Karp... Anyway, he puts us up on the stage with our legs around each other, one in back of the other and he says: "Okay... we're going to do improvisations. Now, you're on a bobsled. It's snowing out. And it's cold...Okay...GO!"
Ev'ry day for a week we would try to
Feel the motion, feel the motion
Down the hill.
Ev'ry day for a week we would try to
Hear the wind rush, hear the wind rush,
Feel the chill.
And I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
To see what I had inside.
Yes, I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
And I tried, I tried.
And everybody's goin' "Whooooosh, whooooosh ...
I feel the snow... I feel the cold... I feel the air."
And Mr. Karp turns to me and he says, "Okay, Morales. What did you feel?"
And I said..."Nothing,
I'm feeling nothing,"
And he says "Nothing Could get a girl transferred."
They all felt something,
But I felt nothing
Except the feeling
That this bullshit was absurd!
But I said to myself, "Hey, it's only the first week. Maybe it's genetic. They don't have bobsleds in San Juan!"
Second week, more advanced, and we had to
Be a table, be a sportscar...
Ice-cream cone.
Mister Karp, he would say,"Very good,
except Morales. Try, Morales,
All alone."
And I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
To see how an ice cream felt.
Yes, I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
And I tried to melt.
The kids yelled, "Nothing!"
They called me "Nothing"
And Karp allowed it,
Which really makes me burn.
They were so helpful.
They called me "Hopeless",
Until I really didn't know
Where else to turn.
And Karp kept saying,"Morales, I think you should transfer to Girl's High,You'll never be an actress, Never!"
Jesus Christ!
Went to church, praying, "Santa Maria,
Send me guidance, send me guidance,"
On my knees.
Went to church, praying, "Santa Maria,
Help me feel it, help me feel it.
Pretty please!"
And a voice from down at the bottom of my soul
Came up to the top of my head.
And the voice from down at the bottom of my soul,
Here is what it said:
"This man is nothing!
This course is nothing!
If you want something,
Go find another class.
And when you find one
You'll be an actress."
And I assure you that's what
Fin'lly came to pass.
Six months later I heard that Karp had died.
And I dug right down to the bottom of my soul...
And cried.
'Cause I felt... nothing.
A Chorus Line (07/25/1975 - 04/28/1990)
music by Marvin Hamlisch; lyrics by Edward Kleban
I mean, I was dying to be a serious actress. Anyway, it's the first day acting class- and we're in the auditorium and the teacher, Mr. Karp... Oh, Mr. Karp... Anyway, he puts us up on the stage with our legs around each other, one in back of the other and he says: "Okay... we're going to do improvisations. Now, you're on a bobsled. It's snowing out. And it's cold...Okay...GO!"
Ev'ry day for a week we would try to
Feel the motion, feel the motion
Down the hill.
Ev'ry day for a week we would try to
Hear the wind rush, hear the wind rush,
Feel the chill.
And I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
To see what I had inside.
Yes, I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
And I tried, I tried.
And everybody's goin' "Whooooosh, whooooosh ...
I feel the snow... I feel the cold... I feel the air."
And Mr. Karp turns to me and he says, "Okay, Morales. What did you feel?"
And I said..."Nothing,
I'm feeling nothing,"
And he says "Nothing Could get a girl transferred."
They all felt something,
But I felt nothing
Except the feeling
That this bullshit was absurd!
But I said to myself, "Hey, it's only the first week. Maybe it's genetic. They don't have bobsleds in San Juan!"
Second week, more advanced, and we had to
Be a table, be a sportscar...
Ice-cream cone.
Mister Karp, he would say,"Very good,
except Morales. Try, Morales,
All alone."
And I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
To see how an ice cream felt.
Yes, I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
And I tried to melt.
The kids yelled, "Nothing!"
They called me "Nothing"
And Karp allowed it,
Which really makes me burn.
They were so helpful.
They called me "Hopeless",
Until I really didn't know
Where else to turn.
And Karp kept saying,"Morales, I think you should transfer to Girl's High,You'll never be an actress, Never!"
Jesus Christ!
Went to church, praying, "Santa Maria,
Send me guidance, send me guidance,"
On my knees.
Went to church, praying, "Santa Maria,
Help me feel it, help me feel it.
Pretty please!"
And a voice from down at the bottom of my soul
Came up to the top of my head.
And the voice from down at the bottom of my soul,
Here is what it said:
"This man is nothing!
This course is nothing!
If you want something,
Go find another class.
And when you find one
You'll be an actress."
And I assure you that's what
Fin'lly came to pass.
Six months later I heard that Karp had died.
And I dug right down to the bottom of my soul...
And cried.
'Cause I felt... nothing.
A Chorus Line (07/25/1975 - 04/28/1990)
music by Marvin Hamlisch; lyrics by Edward Kleban
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
satisfying ?
" life is too short not to be fun" - J.C. Maxwell.
Sounds a little twisted from the familiar " life is short cut the crap" quote fr ah pek hur=p. But i feel the formal better suited after reading John Maxwell's " what is most rewarding? -Developing the Leader within you" although i believe the underlying meaning is much similiar. (priorities)
Maxwell, in one of his career lectures encouraged the audience to seek something they liked to do so much that they would gladly do it for nothing. He wittily suggested that they learned to do it so well that people would be happy to pay them for it. Adding onto it, When you are making a sucess of something, it's not work. It's a way of life* ...i spent some time listing down what would give me satisfaction in life... and i realized i've hardly invested much in these area nor am i gearing myself to that direction. *shocks*
Sounds a little twisted from the familiar " life is short cut the crap" quote fr ah pek hur=p. But i feel the formal better suited after reading John Maxwell's " what is most rewarding? -Developing the Leader within you" although i believe the underlying meaning is much similiar. (priorities)
Maxwell, in one of his career lectures encouraged the audience to seek something they liked to do so much that they would gladly do it for nothing. He wittily suggested that they learned to do it so well that people would be happy to pay them for it. Adding onto it, When you are making a sucess of something, it's not work. It's a way of life* ...i spent some time listing down what would give me satisfaction in life... and i realized i've hardly invested much in these area nor am i gearing myself to that direction. *shocks*
Toping up my guilt, a question of "what would you do differently if you could live your life over again" was surveyed on senior citizens. 3 themes emerged from the results :
- If i had it to do over again, i would reflect more.
- If i had it to do over again, i would risk more.
- If i had it to do over again, i would do more things that would live on after i am dead.**
Uh, i hope i can remind myself on these before i reach senescence and be part of the survey. No.2 & 3 is something i've to work on. Not too sure whether to interpret no.3 as setting myself on the eternal pathway ( Col 3: 1,2) or leaving a legacy.*** risk ? urh ? i'm freak out of changes...
Lastly, i'd like to end with my beloved author's quotation " Sucess in your work will be greatly increased if the 3R's ( Requirements/Return/Reward) are similar. In other words, if the requirements of my job are the same as my strengths that give me the highest return and doing those things brings me great pleasure, then i will be successful if I act on my priorities." Well, just a little guide to shape my thinking upon graduating.
On other reservations, i've met many ppl who don't quite enjoy what they're doing, yet...u know, like adolescence who really need to get a hold on a job else their parents will chase them out of the house... seems like beggars can't be chooser ? or are there other options that are untempered?
*Andy Granatelli. ( duno who)
**Dr Anthony Campolo's sociological study on 50 ppl over age of 95. ( that's the only ref i got fr Maxwell's book)
*** Legacy - not as in being the first women who cloned the prefrontal brain of apes ( like a century later, nobody will remember me, safe some neuroscience text books), but being remembered as someone who believed in johny boy when no one else does; someone who shared her life to others and have loved. Which is also quite challenging...
John C. Maxwell, "Developing the Leader within you" Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1993, pg 27-28.
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