Monday, January 24, 2005

i'm scared..

remember in our gawky teeny days... where girls be whispering about the cute guy over the table... and guys be telling aloud miss who. ( somehow the same gang wd fall for one girl onlee...did they run out of choice or is she that cute? )... recall mr mond who's got girls after girls... did he not learn their lesson or? it's that worth tossling yr heart ard? or even now, singles giving jealous eye around their buddy who's preoccupied with their new toy now...maybe secretly blaming God thinking they're much better than their friends, but why not them ?


Why the hurry? my close encounters didn't prove it all that worth rejoicing over... it certainly didn't left me with a sense of fulfillment...

the last experience i had really felt my heart journeying a roller coaster ride... though the sms's, phones, free treats... really made me felt like a princess on top of a hill... really nice to be cared of so attentively... but it was excruciating arduous guessing the other party's unusual gesture...
and there i recalled digging out the clues, trying so hard to understand whether it was my fault or... in utmost humility n brokenness - if u'll jst tell me why ?
if anything worses than that is to have cold water splashed over your face... to think one has overreacted...you pick your pieces and scrambled them back again...
but over time, it seemed things has changed... some delayed replies here and there, forgotten apointments...
and then once again, the whole scenario is repeated... again ending with 2 pats on your back thinking maybe its' just me reading between the lines ?!
Suddenly- the whole thing ( which doens't seem like anything at all, duno whether anything has started nor even progressed ) just snipped off...

AJO said that men likes to bury issues down under, and seek their theraphy by caving...be worst dealing with those who has polka dot face ( tell me bt it! )... after the 2nd or 3rd chance - they jst give up without telling why...
maybe it's too difficult to express themselves ? or the moment they sense this is not gonna work out they cut themselves out ? without even trying... easier to start elsewhere?

sigh*.. and u guys think girls are so difficult to understand eh...?
Are Men fr Mars and Women fr Venus ?
What about the grand design of putting them together ? jst so they multiply and fill the earth ?


aunties :" so when u getting one yourself?"
me : " :)" ( can't u see? i'm so happy off by myself...? )


Wednesday, January 19, 2005

ARGggghhh...

one cup of tea for breakfast - this was to keep me awake for the morning lectures.

+

one cup of teh tarik at Raju's 4 lunch- to keep me alive for the aftern 3 hrs lectures...

=

wide awake the whole nite ( exhausted heart but hay-wired mind )

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1.30am - fin reading mails
2.00am - drink milk ( they say it helps to cure sleepless nights )
2.15-6.30am - bed, hall, bed, tossled tossled...brains short-circuited...zap ziiitt zap zittst..
6.40am - am trying to sleep again...
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oh dear...i look like a panda bear... or garfield's master with popping eyeballs...

any ideas on how to cure overdosage of caffeine or unpredictable insomia ? or any suggestions on whurt to do when ur so tired but conscious refuse to shut up ? heh, was tempted to miss call some friends...

Friday, January 07, 2005

howeedays

" why are we always declaring our fears and doubts, why not start proclaiming faith and hope?" -joyce meyers.

This is to remind the blur me how i spent this week coz i can't recalled how i spent my lst...
Morning finds me refusing to greet the sun, but still made it around 10am to catch Sesame street. It's like my morning appetizer, and 9pm's My wife and Kids (Disney channel) -my dessert.

Been reading the book of Isaiah... it paints such pretty figuratives. Just love the way he describe stuffs " as strong as oaks of Bashan, cedars of labanon", or concerning Assyria " does the ax raise itself above him who swings it, or the saw boast against him who uses it?"
Been logging on to joyce meyer's daily broadcasting... its' like a daily dose to keep me going !
http://www.joycemeyer.org/cgi-bin/jmm_cgi/temp/index.plx

reading my EU sheets, but hardly finishing... but i will, or i have to, coz assignments due.
so, here's a lab report and some assignments to make their entrance in my holidays !

Today ( or ytdy to be exact ) i started playing the piano for at least an hour !!! gee, i'm so proud of myself ( n thkful to god too... been praying about this ) !!! after i stopped my lessons, there has been such reluctance fr my self to get started... i mean i love it, but...feel like old rustie car here.
the momentum....

caught up with an old friend, called some friends up ( sometimes i wonder y i'm always initiating the phone to some friends ( like after so many years ! sobs... maybe they mite argue how come i'm absent on hangouts. oh well...) corresponding with few oldies with email...

managed to buy some ancient belated b'day gifts and christmas pressy to friends

a new year ticket for parking at the yellow line for 5 mins. Hey, i was just peering out of the shop when he come... nopes, he din spare me. " encik, saya baru park, boleh saya park tempat lain? pegi beli brg, dah tulis". The clerk at the council halften? the fine though. :)