uncork?

*poof*...

been a while hur...?
am so glad i finally compiled my work report,which also marks the beginning of my holidays !
Am checking out the newspapers bout what's happening in town... am thinking of getting on the lrt and do some exploring or go visit a play/concert... deleted off my previous entry coz it sounded as if life's owing me life.

Maybe i haven't had a break for myself yet since last semester till now?
so, learning how to unbore myself? wonder how it be when i start work... well, pity those working folks out there ! =p


Am currently reading a book about communication* :
Found a term called " self-fulfilling prophecy". I phrase it as how we determined the outcome by what we believe/expect. Like, if we expect others/certain gps of ppl to reject us, we tend to reject them first to avoid getting hurt ( like b4?). So given an event, we act out our believe by staying aloof/be skeptical while a curious passerby tap into our world, telling ourselves "nah, he's just being friendly by obligation", "he's jst interested to know me b'coz i..."
Or i can recall some ppl who make themselves appear so complicated...and complain that ppl don't understand them or so they thot ppl wouldn't understand em'? ( ophs, sounds like me )
So it goes round like a cycle :
ppl dun understand me --> not make a point to be understood --> others dun understand --> not make a point to be understood...
ppl will reject me --> reject others --> ppl reject me --> reject others ....
[ there are also positive ones, like : ppl are nice --> be friendly --> ppl are nice ( reciprocate one's friendliness) --> be friendly...
n of course there are exceptions as well la! ( like failing a paper even though we expect to pass) ]

Adler& Town(A&T) stated that we form our self image by what we're being communicated while young. But as we grow older, our self concept resist changes. A term called "cognitive conservatism"...also, we have a tendency to look out for others to affirm our 'self' rather than being concerned with learning the "truth".

Explanations?
Starting as a baby, we've no idea of perceiving who we are except by what we receive ( verbally or non ). Like, if our parents love us and attend to our needs --> we perceived that we're loved, we're worthy, and the world(beyond the baby us) is to be trusted. But if our parents neglect us or mistreat us--> "i'm not worthy, the world is not to be trusted"
Well, besides our parents, there's significant others n reference gps ( peers, media, bible) which we mould ourselves with with along the way...
"self" affirming - A&T quoted that studies reveal both college students and married couples with high self-esteem seek out partners who view them favourably, whereas those with negative self-esteem are more inclined to interact with ppl who view them unfavourably.**
Kinda like saying " i'll never get that sort of girl(guy)"... thus he(she) limits his search to what he set...

Some other "self-fullfilling prophecies" ....?!
"men cannot be trusted" ?
"women are hard to please" ?
If those thots are not dealt with, they will come back to hunt u hur? or perhaps far beyond those thots stem some bitter roots?****


Well, there's always hope if ppl are willing to change... That's when faith comes in handy too- when we allow the word of God to tell us who we are or shape our outcome*** ( n stop listening to ourselves for a change)


*"Looking Out Looking In" ~Adler B.A., Towne N.
**"Truth Aches: Ppl Who View Themselves Poorly May Seek the "Truth" and Find Despair" Science News ( Aug 15, 1992) ~ Bower B.
***Hebrews 11.
**** learn more about bitter fruits expectations <-- bitter roots in Elijah house.