Sunday, November 28, 2004

I'll bake a cake and bake it well

lst night i had the priviledge of attending a piano finale and a chance to meet up with two pianist from Indon. ( i trust they must have been creme de la creme to be able to represent their country or to qualify to compete ?).

Andy didn't made it to the finals, but he said was really satisfied with this performance because he worked hard and gave his best shot. His simple explanation somewhat rang a new tone in me- i would never hear myself saying these lines. Why i'm hardly satisfied with my work.

well, my side of story ? ( one of the coffee break convy) well, the lame ol' less than 5 to D story... never performed never competed...lazy to memorise...yadayadaya...... i can never be like them !

a. Pat drew this convy aside and advised me to work on the " i can"
" if you think you can't, most likely you wouldn't give all to reach that...u end up in the so-so"
" always aim for the stars, even if you fail, who knows u might fall on the clouds"

i guess we hear these sort of gold nuggets ( S'na coined these advises as gold nuggets ) but allow it to fly pass... but somehow it seems like morning dew to me today ! ( well, i mean ytdy... but it feels so fresh )

Of course not everyone race towards the idea of achieving... but i see beyond that as giving my self a chance. I'll be cheating myself if i keep telling myself i can't or never will be coz u never know? or at least, to hear Andy's echo " i've given my best and i'm satisfied". serendipity ?

i'll bake a cake and bake it well ! [ even though it may not turn out well, but it's still well ( with my soul ) ]

Monday, November 22, 2004

Today

"I suggest that one of the things we can do on our Sabbath is to make time to revisit the week that has just passed. Recall the highlights of the week. Think of the bright points. A deal closed.
A good chat with family and friends, a nice movie, a good book, dorky or painful moments...

...I don't expect the pace of life to slow down anytime soon. But we don't have to be prisoners of chronos, victims carried helplessly along by the speed of life, our lives filled, but unfulfilled. With solitude and community, we put our roots down in Christ, seeking to understand the kairos significance of the events that make up our life." - grace@work. italics added.
http://www.graceatwork.org/

" behold ! i'm doing a new thing" ~Jesus Christ

i thought the vocal harmonisation on the chorus of "amazing love" was beautiful. Ps Mal, PLin's could make wonders with their voices. Church's in a very different ambience now. We have new carpets, new fridge, new plants outside, new sound tuning...

I really love the decorations on the huge Christmas tree. This year, they're going back to the original Christmas colour - red, green and gold. I guess i know who to call next time if i need hands to spice up my house. I helped to put up some ribbons up on the tree too.

I helped Princess Fiona and Marc to arrange the carolers into their voice groups today. This year we have 3 kiddies and 4 Aficans enriching our Christmas choir. I can't help imagining how sticky Aseans like us would learn to 'umba-rhumba' up with em'. :)
Not to mention Wahome being in the alto ( he got teased... i wonder whether has he broken his voice yet or ? ) and Kut-yeh in the tenor ( she seemed like a real loud african singer )... the presence of xiao Shrek and my really good friends there...*twinkles*

i remember too reb crying... thx for your tears.

Here's to a Merry Christmas... ( a toss for the sunshine outside )
and i pray Emmanuel. God be with us.

p.s- my new term starting tmr, bye holidays... :(



Tuesday, November 16, 2004

children of the abyss

to... ,



" memories of the past only remind them of what they have lost;
hope for the future only taunts them with an unknown too remote even to imagine."

" Loss takes what we might do and turns it into what we can never do.
Loss freezees life into a snapshot. We are stuck with what was instead of what could have been."




-"A grace disguised" by Jerry Sittser.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

a Somebody

to Somebody,

i just came back from catching Sharks Tale with the Chews...

So what did i see ?
a cornucopia of imagination swimming in the deep sea - and that's what i call a-life !

but here's the catch...
"nobody loves a Nobody,
everybody loves a Somebody." -Oscar

that's exactly what we're doing now - dedicating our lifes to be a Somebody.
So that ( one day )we can live in the upper reefs- Bigger cars, larger lawn... early retirement ?
And perhaps that's just the way we humans work - there must be a hidden temptation ( the middle tree in Eden eh? ) that drives us.. or in the words of Hen " Eh, who wanna study if scoring a string of As' makes u a Nobody?"

After Oscar made it Big, Ang the humbleton broke it to him that she loved him back then when he was a Nobody... she thought she saw a Somebody in him then.
That changed the whole course of mr. Somebody... all because Someone, someone who has seen him in his most nakedness moment -believed in him.
And there he goes...casting all his Somebodiness away to woo her back...

aunt J says that generally guys would love a girl that worships the very ground he steps on...no wonder my churchs' guys are going for girls much younger than they! ... whoopsie :)
Or through the eyes of a child:
" On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. " -Mike, 10. :p

in short, u ain't something when u ain't Somebody...?! or we all need someone to believe in us...?

but suppose, if we have a Beholder who found a Somebody in us... would we pursue after him ? would we allow our Somebodiness to be define by him ?

" In desert land he found her, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded her and cared for her; he guarded her as the apple of his eye. "
Deut 32 : 10. Italics overwrite the original. It's... for Somebody.


Thursday, November 11, 2004

re-birth of a gingerbread man

Grief melts away
Like snow in May
As if there were no such cold thing.
Who would have thought my shrivl'd heart
Could have recover'd greennesse? It was gone
Quite underground

And now in age I bud again,
After so many deaths I live and write;
I once more smell the dew and rain,
And relish versing : O my only light
It cannot be
That I am he
On whom thy tempest fell all night
" The Flower" by George Herbert

there are few things that never cease to inspire me: autumn leaves, an old couple sitting hand-in-hand on a wooden swing, the oak trunk, whisperings of nature, courting birds....
somehow this poem, together with Stravinskys' "Apollo- the coda" usher in a new season to my heart.

Look outside the window ! the grass are greening, the flowers are budding, my guppies are flapping their tails like crimson spanish skirts... if seasons could paint our souls.